Understanding Behaviours in Children with SEMH
Reframing challenging behaviour as a signal of unmet needs and emotional distress.
Children with SEMH needs often display behaviours that mask deeper psychological distress. These actions—aggression, withdrawal, or anxiety—are not arbitrary; they are signals of past traumas or difficulties with emotional regulation.
By seeking the function behind the behaviour, adults can respond with empathy and strategies that support long-term development.
Common Behaviours & Their Functions
Withdrawn or Passive
Often misunderstood as disinterest, this can be a response to anxiety or emotional neglect. The child may remain quiet to avoid further disappointment or perceived threat.
Aggressive or Explosive
Linked to a heightened state of arousal where the nervous system is unable to tolerate distress. This "fight" response often stems from hypervigilance and trauma.
Defiant or Oppositional
Commonly labelled as 'naughty', defiance is frequently a protective mechanism used by children who do not feel safe enough to comply with adult instructions.
Masking & People-Pleasing
Over-compliance can hide internal distress. Children suppress their needs to avoid rejection, a pattern common in neurodivergent pupils camouflaging difficulties.
Root Causes of Distress
Developmental & Biological
- • ACEs: Traumatic events that dysregulate the stress response system.
- • Attachment: Disruptions in early caregiving affecting safety and trust.
- • Neurodiversity: Frustration caused by ADHD, ASD, or sensory processing issues.
Systemic & Environmental
- • Stressors: Poverty, housing instability, or bereavement.
- • School Climate: Rigid policies and lack of inclusion exacerbating anxiety.
- • Emotional Literacy: Lack of vocabulary to express complex internal feelings.
Strategies for Practical Support
Relational Focus
Building attunement and co-regulation capacity. Children must feel emotionally "held" before they can take risks in learning.
Emotion Coaching
Narrating observed emotions and validating them. Use feelings charts and calm corners to empower the child's self-awareness.
Restorative Practice
Replacing punitive punishment with opportunities to reflect and repair harm, fostering empathy and responsibility.
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Final Reflections
The goal is not just to "manage" behaviour but to nurture the whole child. Every challenging moment is an opportunity to offer hope, dignity, and the foundations for lifelong resilience.
Mark Else
My experience ranges from running playgroups for pre-schoolers to managing complex safeguarding caseloads within both mainstream and SEMH provisions. In addition to having worked within the education sector since 2018, I am currently studying for a Level 6 Youth Work degree.
References
- Bath, H. (2008). The three pillars of trauma-informed care: Safety, connection, and emotional regulation. Reclaiming Children and Youth, 17(3), pp.17–21.
- Bloom, S. L. (1994). Creating Sanctuary: Toward the Evolution of Sane Societies. London: Routledge.
- Fava, C., Hemnani, K. & Manzi, S. (2024). Assessing ADHD when there is a history of trauma in children in care – a dimensional rather than categorical approach. Child & Family Clinical Psychology Review, 9(1), pp.42–47.
- Felitti, V.J., Anda, R.F., Nordenberg, D., Williamson, D.F., Spitz, A.M., Edwards, V., Koss, M.P. & Marks, J.S. (1998). Relationship of childhood abuse and household dysfunction to many of the leading causes of death in adults. American Journal of Preventive Medicine, 14(4), pp.245–258.
- Hughes, D. A. (2011). Attachment-Focused Family Therapy. New York: Norton.
- Perry, B. D. & Szalavitz, M. (2017). The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist's Notebook. 2nd ed. New York: Basic Books.
- Porges, S. W. (2011). The Polyvagal Theory: Neurophysiological Foundations of Emotions, Attachment, Communication, and Self-regulation. New York: Norton.