Introduction
For those of us committed to working with children, whether as social workers, educators, or therapists, the first year in the field often feels less like a professional transition and more like a clash.
We enter the field armed with theories on child development, attachment, and trauma-informed care. However, there is a second, "unwritten curriculum" that textbooks rarely cover (Navigating, 2025). This curriculum isn't about the content of our work; it's about the context of surviving it.
Based on recent research into the pedagogy-practice gap, here are the core lessons every professional working with children needs to master for a long and impactful career.
The Paradox of Paperwork
In the classroom, we understand that our main tool is our relationship with the child. In the field, we quickly find that our main "shield" is our documentation. The unwritten rule is that if it isn't written down, it didn't happen (Balkow and Lillis, 2019).
Documentation is often seen as a chore that pulls us away from the children. However, experienced professionals view it as a vital liability tool (Balkow and Lillis, 2019). In a system based on accountability, your notes are the only proof that a child’s standard of care was maintained.
Tactical Tip
Practise "neutral observation." Instead of writing "The child was angry," write "The child threw a toy and spoke in a raised voice." Facts defend; opinions invite scrutiny.
Navigating the Psychological Hazards
Vicarious Trauma (VT)
Involves a cognitive shift; after hearing enough stories of abuse or neglect, your worldview changes (McCann and Pearlman, 1990). You might begin to see the world as inherently dangerous or regard all adults as potential threats.
Compassion Fatigue (CF)
The "cost of caring." It is the emotional numbing that happens when your "empathy battery" runs dry (Figley, 1995).
The Unwritten Rule
"Cynicism is a symptom, not a personality trait."
If you find yourself using dark humour or feeling detached, it’s often a sign that your psychological architecture is under stress. This requires professional supervision, not just a "self-care" day.
The "Saviour Complex" and Client Autonomy
Many enter the field with a desire to "save" children. While well-intentioned, this can promote a saviour complex that disempowers families.
The Unwritten Rule
You cannot work harder than the family.
If you are doing 90% of the work, the family is only learning how to rely on you, not how to thrive without you. Radical self-determination entails accepting that some families will make choices with which you disagree (Ryan and Deci, 2017). Your job is to provide the resources and safety net, not to drive the car for them.
Field Safety: Street Smarts for Home Visits
University programmes often focus on the clinical environment, but much of our work occurs in the community. Tactical awareness is a vital survival skill (Ferguson, 2016).
The Unwritten Rule: Safety over sensitivity.
Many new workers feel "rude" for not removing their shoes during a home visit or for insisting on sitting near the door.
Tactical Tip
- ✔ Never allow anyone to get between you and the exit.
- ✔ Scan the room for "environmental hazards" (heavy objects, unsecured pets) before you sit down.
Transition Rituals: Leaving the Trauma at the Door
One of the most challenging lessons is learning how to go home. Professionals working with children often absorb the "secondary trauma" of the children they serve (Figley, 1995).
The Unwritten Rule
The child’s "chair" belongs in the office.
"Imagine every client is sitting in a chair. When they leave, they leave the chair behind. If you find yourself thinking about a case while making dinner, you have carried their 'chair' into your home."
Tactical Tip: The "Hydrotherapy" Ritual
Showering immediately upon arriving home to symbolically wash off the day’s energy (Ferguson, 2016).
Mark Else
My experience ranges from running playgroups for pre-schoolers to managing complex safeguarding caseloads within both mainstream and SEMH provisions. In addition to having worked within the education sector since 2018, I am currently studying for a Level 6 Youth Work degree.
References
- Balkow, J. and Lillis, J. (2019) Record-keeping in children’s social care. [online] Research in Practice. Available at: https://www.researchinpractice.org.uk
- Ferguson, H. (2016) 'How social workers move: Table of home visit transitions and sensory experiences', British Journal of Social Work, 46(6), pp. 1533–1550.
- Figley, C. R. (1995) Compassion Fatigue: Coping with Secondary Traumatic Stress Disorder in Those Who Treat the Traumatized. London: Brunner/Mazel.
- McCann, L. and Pearlman, L. A. (1990) 'Vicarious traumatization: A framework for understanding the psychological effects of working with victims', Journal of Traumatic Stress, 3(1), pp. 131–149.
- Navigating the "Unwritten Curriculum" of Child-Centred Practice (2025). [Unpublished manuscript].
- Ryan, R. M. and Deci, E. L. (2017) Self-determination theory: Basic psychological needs in motivation, development, and wellness. New York: Guilford Press.