Creating Safe Spaces for Children to Open Up | Trauma-Informed Care Guide

Children and young people often carry experiences that are difficult to express—especially when those experiences involve loss, trauma, or distress. For many, the ability to open up is closely tied to the environment around them and the adults they interact with daily. Teachers, youth workers, and other trusted professionals play a vital role in shaping these environments, offering not only physical safety but emotional security as well.

Creating spaces where children feel safe enough to speak requires more than kindness—it calls for consistency, cultural sensitivity, trust-building, and a deep understanding of child development and communication. When professionals cultivate emotionally safe, non-judgemental, and responsive settings, they lay the groundwork for meaningful conversations and healing.

This article explores the key elements that support children in opening up, from building relationships and active listening to using play-based strategies and culturally informed practices. Drawing on current research and practical insights, it offers guidance for those striving to be safe, supportive anchors in a child’s life.

Emotional safety is the foundation upon which trust, openness, and healing are built. For children and young people, especially those who have experienced adversity, it refers to feeling secure enough to express thoughts, emotions, and memories without fear of rejection, punishment, or being misunderstood.

Unlike physical safety, which protects from harm, emotional safety protects a child’s sense of self. It allows them to take emotional risks: to speak, ask for help, show vulnerability, or share difficult experiences. When this safety is absent, children may become withdrawn, guarded, or display behaviours that mask their inner distress.

Professionals play a critical role in creating this sense of safety. It begins with consistent, caring relationships where children know what to expect and feel genuinely valued. Simple acts, such as listening without interruption, respecting boundaries, and responding calmly can help a child feel safe enough to open up.

Establishing emotional safety isn’t a one-time action, but an ongoing process. It requires patience, empathy, and a conscious effort to understand the child’s world. When emotional safety is prioritised, children are more likely to share their experiences, explore their feelings, and begin the journey towards healing and resilience.

Building Trusting Relationships

Trust is at the heart of every supportive interaction with children and young people. It is not given automatically, it is earned over time through consistent, respectful, and compassionate behaviour. For many children, especially those who have faced trauma, rejection, or instability, trust may have been broken in the past. Rebuilding it requires sensitivity and patience.

A trusting relationship forms when a child feels truly seen, heard, and accepted. This means the adult must be dependable, emotionally available, and non-judgemental. Children are quick to sense when adults are distracted, dismissive, or disingenuous. By showing up consistently—both emotionally and physically—professionals demonstrate that they are safe and reliable.

Small gestures make a significant impact: remembering important details, offering genuine praise, or simply being present in difficult moments. When a child knows they can rely on an adult to respond calmly and kindly, even when emotions run high, they begin to feel secure enough to open up.

Research highlights the importance of the adult–child relationship in promoting disclosure and emotional regulation (Hughes, 2011; Perry & Szalavitz, 2017). When children trust the adults around them, they are more likely to engage in meaningful conversations, explore painful memories, and accept help.

Trust-building is not about forcing a child to speak, but about creating the kind of relationship where, in time, they may choose to.

Active Listening

Active listening is a powerful tool in creating emotionally safe spaces for children and young people. It goes beyond simply hearing words—it involves giving full attention, showing empathy, and responding in ways that validate a child's feelings and experiences.

Children may not always have the vocabulary to express their thoughts clearly. They might communicate through behaviour, art, play, or fragmented language. Active listening means tuning in to both what is said and what is left unsaid. It involves observing body language, tone of voice, and emotional cues with curiosity and compassion.

When professionals listen actively, they send a clear message: “You matter, and I want to understand.” This can be incredibly affirming for children, especially those who feel overlooked or dismissed in other areas of their lives. It helps build the kind of connection that encourages further sharing and deepens trust.

Key techniques include maintaining eye contact (if appropriate for the child), allowing pauses without rushing to fill them, reflecting back what the child has said, and offering reassurance without judgment. Phrases such as “It sounds like that was really hard for you” or “I’m really glad you told me that” can make a child feel acknowledged and respected.

Research suggests that when adults respond to children's disclosures with patience and acceptance, children are more likely to continue opening up (Allnock & Miller, 2013). Active listening is not just a skill—it’s an act of care that lays the foundation for healing conversations.

Creating a Non-Judgmental Space

For children and young people to feel safe enough to open up, they must know that they will not be judged, criticised, or blamed for what they share. A non-judgmental space is one where acceptance is unconditional and where every feeling, question, or memory is met with calm curiosity rather than shock, shame, or dismissal.

Many children hesitate to talk about their experiences because they fear negative reactions. This is especially true for those who have faced rejection, been labelled as “difficult,” or internalised a sense of guilt or shame. If they sense even subtle judgement, they may retreat and choose silence over vulnerability.

Creating a non-judgmental atmosphere begins with the adult’s mindset. Professionals must be aware of their own beliefs, biases, and emotional responses. It requires setting aside assumptions, resisting the urge to problem-solve too quickly, and focusing instead on being fully present with the child’s story, however it is told.

The environment itself also plays a role. A calm, private space; gentle body language; and a relaxed, open tone can help reassure the child that they are safe to speak freely. Responses such as “Thank you for sharing that with me” or “It’s okay to feel that way” can offer a sense of acceptance and containment.

Research consistently shows that when adults respond without judgement, children are more likely to disclose sensitive experiences and feel supported in their emotional world (Daniel et al., 2011). A non-judgmental space doesn’t mean avoiding difficult truths—it means creating the right conditions for those truths to be shared.

Every child is unique. Their developmental stage, communication style, cultural background, and lived experiences all shape how they express themselves and whether they feel able to open up. To truly connect, professionals must adapt their approach to meet each child’s individual needs.

One-size-fits-all strategies are rarely effective, particularly for children who have experienced trauma, sensory differences, or neurodivergence. Some may need structure and predictability, while others respond better to flexibility and creativity. Taking the time to learn what helps a child feel most comfortable is a critical step toward emotional safety.

Play and Creative Expression

Play is a child’s natural language. Through drawing, role-play, puppetry, or storytelling, children can explore complex emotions in a way that feels safe and symbolic. For children who struggle to verbalise feelings, these forms of expression offer powerful alternatives to talk-based support (Walker, 2005). Play therapy, for example, is widely used to help children externalise worries and make sense of past experiences at their own pace.

Providing Pretend Meaning

Research shows that giving pretend meaning to activities—such as assigning a story or role to messy play—can enhance engagement, particularly for children with sensory sensitivities or emotional blocks (Miller, n.d.). These imaginative contexts reduce pressure and provide emotional distance, making it easier for children to access and process difficult feelings.

Supporting Sensory Needs

For some children, particularly those with sensory processing differences, emotional expression is closely linked to physical regulation. Adapting the environment—by offering movement breaks, reducing noise, or using tactile tools—can make a significant difference in how safe and grounded a child feels (Withrow, n.d.).

Empowering Choice and Control

Allowing children to choose how, when, and what they share builds a sense of autonomy. Whether it’s selecting an activity, picking a topic to talk about, or simply deciding whether to engage at all, small choices can restore a sense of control—something many vulnerable children have lost in other areas of life.

When professionals take a flexible, child-centred approach, they communicate an important message: “I see you as an individual, and I will meet you where you are.” This forms the foundation for deeper connection and authentic emotional expression.

Cultural Competence and Identity Awareness

To truly create safe spaces for children and young people to open up, professionals must engage with an awareness of each child’s cultural background and developing sense of identity. Culture influences how emotions are expressed, how help is sought, and what “safety” feels like. Identity shapes how children see themselves and how they interpret the reactions of others.

Cultural competence goes beyond simply acknowledging differences—it requires actively learning about and respecting the values, communication styles, family structures, and traditions that matter to the child. For example, in some cultures, emotional restraint is encouraged, while in others, open expression is normal. Misinterpreting a child’s silence or behaviour through a single cultural lens can lead to misunderstanding or even harm.

Professionals should aim to ask, not assume—remaining curious and respectful in their approach. This includes being aware of cultural grieving practices, gender roles, and language barriers that might influence how a child opens up. Creating an inclusive, affirming environment allows children to bring their full selves into the relationship.

Challenging Deficit Views

Children are often shaped by the narrative’s adults place on them—particularly in educational or care settings. Research highlights the damage caused by deficit-based views, where children are seen as lacking or less capable due to language, behaviour, disability, or background (Kilinc et al., 2016). These narratives can “thicken” over time, becoming part of how children see themselves (Holland & Lave, 2001).

By reflecting on their own biases and assumptions, professionals can avoid reinforcing harmful identities and instead promote dignity and worth in every interaction.

Identity-Safe Practice

An identity-safe environment is one where children feel seen, valued, and free to express who they are. This includes allowing space for neurodivergent expression, affirming gender identity, and celebrating linguistic or cultural diversity. When children are supported in exploring and affirming their identity, they are more likely to engage meaningfully and trust the adults around them.

Integrating culturally responsive practices into everyday work is not just ethical—it is essential. It helps to build bridges of trust and belonging, allowing children to speak from a place of safety and self-worth.

Creating safe environments where children and young people feel able to open up is not a matter of chance—it is the result of intentional, compassionate practice. Every child carries a unique story, shaped by their relationships, experiences, culture, and identity. It is the role of everyday professionals to build the conditions in which those stories can be safely and respectfully shared.

This begins with emotional safety: building trusting relationships, listening actively, and offering a non-judgmental presence. It also involves recognising that one size does not fit all—children need approaches that are tailored to their developmental stage, sensory needs, and communication style. Play, creativity, and imagination often serve as essential bridges to expression.

Cultural competence and identity awareness must underpin all efforts. When professionals honour each child’s background and challenge deficit-based assumptions, they affirm the child’s worth and agency. In doing so, they help children not only feel safe, but feel seen.

When adults create these kinds of spaces—calm, consistent, inclusive, and responsive—children are more likely to speak, to trust, and to heal. And that, ultimately, is what makes the difference.