The Turning Point: A Young Person’s Perspective
Why your first interaction and ongoing consistency matter more than any textbook.
"I notice every single thing about how you do it. Our first interaction sets the tone for whether I feel safe, believed, and worth your time."
When a young person walks into a room, they are often scanning for signals of safety. For them, it isn't just a meeting; it is a decision on whether to share the things that keep them awake at night.
The Anatomy of the First Interaction
Scanning for Signs
Young people are highly sensitive to "micro-cues." A distracted look at a laptop or a rushed greeting signals that the adult is just another drifting figure. Conversely, a genuine smile and the use of their name signal that they matter.
Consistency is Safety
The "bridge of trust" is built through repeated, predictable actions—remembering a detail or showing up exactly when promised.
Presence Over Policy
Two minutes of full, undivided attention is more restorative than an hour of distracted "casework."
The Narrative of the Adult
When Adults Get It Right
They see past the behaviour. They ask about music, notice the choice of a seat near the window, and remain steady even when "tested." They prove that adults can be safe.
When Adults Get It Wrong
They stay behind the laptop screen. They only see the "naughty" label. They make promises they forget to keep. They confirm the child's belief that they are not worth the time.
Understanding Professional Struggle
System vs. Person
Children don't see the caseloads, targets, or paperwork—they only see you. When an adult says, "I haven't got time," a child often internalises it as, "I am the problem."
"The teacher who admitted she was busy but promised to find me at lunchtime—and did—made me feel I mattered. Honesty followed by action builds trust."
What We Wish You Knew
- 1. First impressions last: Even if you forget it, I won't.
- 2. Small actions speak loudest: Remembering a detail tells me I matter.
- 3. Consistency is safety: Don't make promises you can't keep.
- 4. Trust takes time: Keep showing up, and eventually, I might let you in.
The Turning Point
You might not realise that you are the reason a child stays in school, the reason they speak instead of staying silent, or the reason they begin to believe in themselves again.
Mark Else
My experience ranges from running playgroups for pre-schoolers to managing complex safeguarding caseloads within both mainstream and SEMH provisions. In addition to having worked within the education sector since 2018, I am currently studying for a Level 6 Youth Work degree.